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  • Kid:Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
  • Cashier:Are you 18?
  • Kid:It's okay, they're a metaphor.
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turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

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thesorrovv:

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

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